emotional drainage

i never thought that something happening in another country can affect me.

the events in lebanon, the daily death and displacement of innocent civilians are taking their toll on me. i'm down most of the time and i've lost joy in many things i used to take for granted before. i can't understand anything of what's happening, can't imagine how the us is taking its extreme right wing stance towards the whole thing. there is nothing but hatred and anger towards america and israel in the arab world now, and years of sedation since oslow have gone to dust as israel is hurrying back to its traditional placement as an alien entity in the heart of the arab world, a cancer which should be removed.

i consider myself a moderate person. in life generally and in politics specifically. i'm not sure if it's who i am or if it's the experiences i've been through in life, but i usually find myself in the middle, with arguments with or against any specific subject usually weighing each other out, with one side slightly winning over the other. but even then, my belief is not blind nor is it immutable. the situation in lebanon (and my view of israel generally), however, is proving to be the opposite of that.

the discussions that are taking place with israelis, the points of view i'm seeing from them, are making one impression on me: israel is a bully that cares about nothing but its selfish alien existence. in the past few years there has been progress in the arab region towards israel: we're viewing it less and less as an enemy and more in terms of something that is there, whether we like it or not, and something we need to deal with. yes they were killing the palestinians in the hundreds, yes they kidnapped thousands of palestinians from their home with no charges or trials, yes they flaunt their indifference with all securty council resolutions regarding their existence, yes they're setting up a "security fence" that practically kills off palestinian villages and annexes illegal lands to israel, yes they're continuing with the construction of illegal settlements in the west bank and gaza (only good arab is a dead arab) BUT other than that they seemed to have been quite peaceful. hell, they even withdrew from southern lebanon and gaza (even though they occupied them again)! yes, they ended an occupation that was originally ILLEGAL! the years of listening to murders in the west bank grew our skins thicker and our hearts harder when it came to palestinians and their suffering. there was even debate on whether the best way to resist the israeli occupation was suicide bombings since the israeli reaction to them was to raze homes and murder hundreds of people. and events around the world, like the occupation of iraq (or is liberation?), tsunami's, oil prices and all that other stuff really took from our attention to palestine and the suffering of its people. so yeah, israel was a criminal country, but we didn't care that much.

but this. this irresponsible indiscriminate destruction of a country's infrastructure for the abduction of two soldiers is absolutely unacceptable, under any law, standard or point of view. i don't care what americans think. i don't care what fucked up image the media is portraying to those ignorant enough to believe that all the arab states hate israel just because. occam's razor ladies and gentlemen: when s single state has wars with all its neighbors and everyone around it hates it, it's not because all these states are evil, it's because that single state is. why is israel destroying lebanon? no one really knows. i would say it's because hezbolla captured two israeli soldiers. two soldiers. hundreds dead, infrastructure ruined, half a million displaced, all for two soldiers who were captured. of course hezbolla is now bombing israeli cities, but the scale of destruction and reasons behind it differ drastically.

now what are we doing to stop that? hezbolla are refusing to give up the soldiers. israel is on a steady course to wipe most of lebanon off the face of the earth. the lebanese (ironic, no?) are asking for a cease-fire (most of the world is asking for a cease-fire). the us want a "sustainable" cease-fire (only God and the voices inside bush's head know what that is). so where we are is this: israel will continue doing what it wants, the us will support it, its media will distort the facts to support it, and the arabs will sit and do nothing. sounds familiar? well, it is. in the past 60 years or so, we (the arabs, the region) have not had a decade without a war, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM INVOLVED ISRAEL OR THE US. yes, you zionist jews who play the victim and act ignorant about it, or have lied long enough to actually believe it, you ARE an alien entity, you ARE a cancer that is infesting in the region. how so very weird that a jewish, hebrew-speaking country is surrounded by muslim, arabic-speaking countries on four sides. and anthropologists around? please explain to them how countries, cultures and languages evolve. and how it's not possible that a country that is so alien, so hostile to everyone around it is NOT supposed to be there. i'm not arguing the existence of israel, nor am i working towards its destruction, but damn it i'm saying that it's a cancer that should be treated. stop attacking everyone around you then playing the victim. you have internationally recognized borders, STICK TO THEM. you are the cause of every single instability in the region. fucking stop it, we're fucking sick of it.

be a state and step up and take responsibility for your actions. say this "we, the zionist jews, have decided to shanghai this land and call it israel. this land is very fertile and there are some references to it in our bible (which was written by jews before us, so only God knows what's correct in it) so we claim it as ours. furthermore, we don't care about anyone who is/was living here, since a few thousand years ago this was our land (or so we claim), and as such, we will kick them out (or occupy them, or name them israelis but with limited rights), and then live in their stead. in addition, we will occupy the lands around us to make us feel safe and because, well, it really was ours in the first place so we're only taking it back. we will also occasionally be hostile with the states around whenever they show the slightest disrespect or lack of fear towards us, and we don't care about what anyone says or thinks, since we have the american lobby by the balls through our economical control there. finally, we will use whatever means we have with disregard to anyone around us to become the supreme state in the region. in summary, we say that the jewish well-being is above all other nations' well being and we will do whatever we want, no matter at what consequences, to ensure that well being." at least that way you'll get some respect, if not love.

i must admit, this did not make me feel any better, but i hope some israeli or zionist jew reads it out there so that they'd know that they have one extra person hating them.