making a change

note: i finished this at 0130 in the morning. there will be mistakes in it, i apologize for them. if you read it you might find some disconcert; please treat this as if it were a summary of a longer article. i had to cut many ideas short of their full development for the sake of a readable article that carries through to a conclusion. leave a comment if you would like any ideas discussed in more detail and i'll be more than happy to write some more. please note that the ideas here are generalizations that are built solely on my personal observation and beliefs. not all jordanians are like that and our country doesn't suck, it's just that i try to practice what i preach. i will always be critical of everything around me: from friends to the country.


it's hard to know where to begin when talking about making a change.

this entry is inspired by a comment made by friend about working towards making a change in the country (jordan). she commented that since jordan is a small developing country, it's more rewarding to make a change since you can see it taking place. that is, the change is faster and affects a relatively larger number of people. i think that that is true if one is trying to change a specific phenomenon, such as providing work for poor stay-home mothers, helping orphans or the illiterate or the old or cleaning up a notional park. making an impact is viable there: all you need is a good plan, dedicated people to work, determination and patience (an oversimplification, i know, but change is possible and we've all seen it happen). but the kind of change i have in mind is much more ambitious. the change that will transform a country, not a limited number of people. not that accomplishments like the ones i've mentioned here are any less significant than changing a whole country, it's just that i like to aim high and think big. and my belief is that many of these issues are just symptoms of a bigger picture: that of an ill-structured country.

i think trying to impact a country like that starts with understanding what's wrong, or more specifically, that which should change. many people i know are eager to leave jordan to work abroad. some are after money, some after fun, some after independence, some after self-development and career advancement. this is far from an exhaustive list, but few (including myself) will be able to exactly pinpoint why they left. and i'm not talking about those west-worshipers, who will leave to any other country. i'm talking about those who felt they needed to leave. for me, it was the driving. this may sound silly, but the most stressful hours of my day are those spent driving. driving in jordan is a nightmare for a variety of reasons, but i personally feel that the number one contribution to the bad driving is the our mentality. drivers are aggressive, impatient, rude, disrespectful and angry (as i myself act sometimes; the torrent of swears i unleashed on a particularly rude driver today is highly unpleasant), and such is the general attitude of jordanians in day-to-day life. of course, this was the last straw, the final effort i couldn't put into staying to make a change. i would love to change that about jordan: have the population become more tolerant, respectful, patient and accommodating.

but that's only one facet of a bigger problem. there are many things wrong with our country, and i think this jordanian attitude is as much a symptom of the problem as a part of it (like fever with an illness: although it's a symptom of an infection, too high a fever in itself is problem). the other parts include, for example, disloyalty to our country. and with loyalty to our country i don't mean just working for it, but taking care of it like it's ours. not throwing garbage from car windows. not stealing. not slacking off during work. setting priorities to make the country better and sticking to them. putting the group's interests before the personal ones (making tons of money for me while hundreds more suffer is not a great accomplishment). the list goes on. being loyal is not singing jeishana and believing jordan is the greatest country in the world, but seeing the good in the country, seeing the bad, nourishing the earlier and fixing the latter.

another part is tunnel vision: taking opinions and beliefs with little or no consideration of what others think. this affects our everyday beliefs (like the void between Muslims and Christians, which everyone just denies), our political beliefs (like how we hate everyone not jordanian), our social beliefs (terms like hafartali), our daily acts (the lack of respect with which males treat females), our hypocrisy (which is the ultimate form of ignoring other's beliefs; beliefs in others that are ours!), and many others. this ultimatism is fatal because it undermines the foundation for constructive criticism. this form of thinking only allows for black and white, right or wrong, with us or against us type of acting. there is no middle ground, no common basis, no "this is good from my side, this is good from yours" and the worse, there is no "you might be right, even if partially" kind of thought.

the list of problems is rather long and i am not interested in jotting them down. what i am interested in is seeing why they're there in the first place and how one can hope to tackle them. the weird thing is that it seems that people encourage the behavior leading to these problems even though they know it's detrimental. i've lived in jordan my whole adult life and i still don't understand our society or the way it works. people hate thieves yet won't hesitate for a second to make a "big win". people hate liars but will lie to save their asses. people preach to others to stand in line but will be the first to gain a place at the first opportunity. those are just some of the examples. everyone bitches about how bad things are but they don't practice what they preach.

the difference between knowing what's right and acting upon it is courage and honesty. jordanians just don't take the initiative. we're afraid of what people say, which, paradoxically, is almost always against our beliefs. that is, society's consciousness pushes its individuals further away from the beliefs that the society embraces. it's the ultimate incarnation of hypocrisy. try to look for a garbage can to not to litter. "oh man, just throw it anywhere, the streets are garbage anyway." of course they are, since garbage is a few hundred people throwing one napkin here and there. try to work honestly. "oh come on girl this isn't your company just do the absolute minimum and go home to chill". the examples are numerous and all similarly depressing: we know what's wrong but refuse to avoid it.

so making a change requires people to start thinking critically. that is, thinking about their beliefs, their actions according to these beliefs, and objectively evaluating these actions and beliefs. but being naive enough to think that these patterns of thinking can be magically introduced into the whole society is typical of misguided social reformers. laws, penalties, rules, customs and any other form of enforcement will work as far as the reach of its enforcer. you'll smoke as long as your dad isn't around and you'll steal as long as there aren't police. rules, laws and customs are not the normal way of organizing a society, but are the solution to abnormalities in behavior. typically, a society must embrace these values and beliefs without outside interference or enforcing (normal behavior), and rules and customs, especially those carrying penalties, are set up for the outsiders: those who won't act as the whole sees best without outside enforcement (abnormal). one can't force a society to become reformed. what one can do is plant the seed of that reform and hope that it grows by its own. the biggest deterrent, as naive as it may sound, is peer pressure. if everyone thinks you're shit for stealing money, why would you steal? this argument is naive and overly simplistic but serves as a guideline: if society wants things to work and happen in a certain way they will. saying these things alone will not make them happen; acting upon them will.

the seed is best planted in fertile soil. teaching children to read, to think critically, to evaluate everything they are told before and after taking it to heart, is essential. allowing kids to learn and form conclusions on their own (see this) teaches critical thinking. teaching kids that there are no absolute rights and wrongs, that everything is open to questioning will create a new generation of conscious people. conscious of what? of the ideals in their head: of concepts they embraced not as hypothetical abstractions of supposed events but as hard conclusions to well-thought problems and practical challenges. this will not create anarchy nor will it dissipate our beliefs but it will make them just that: beliefs. not hear-say, not concepts, not teachings but beliefs. things that do guide our lives, not things that should guide our lives.